Stepmother stops 18-year-old stepdaughter from using one of her cars after daughter's car breaks down, insisting she needs to get a job instead: 'She is now a lazy adult'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 30, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

For some parents, once their kids turn 18 years old, they should start acting like adults, even if they are not completely there mentally. You might agree with this parental approach and you might not, but we all know sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is to throw them to the deep end and allow them to learn how to fend for themselves.

Surprisingly, you might find yourself doing that for someone else's kids, when their parents are unable to do that themselves. We're not talking about getting involved in a complete stranger's life and making executive decisions when you are not asked to, but some people simply need that push to make a change in their lives, and their parents are just not up for the task.

So, who is up for tasks like these? Well, in the case of the story below, the one who stepped up for the 18-year-old young adult was her stepmother.

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  • When this stepmother realized her husband and his ex-wife would not stop spoiling their daughter, she decided to teach her stepdaughter a thing or two about adult life.

    Starting with what happens when one's car decides to break down.

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    "You don't need two cars at the same time"
    via Samuel Foster

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to allow my step daughter to use one of my cars and telling her to get a job and buy one instead?

    My husband and I have a 5 years old son together and he has a 18F daughter Sally from his previous marriage. Sally is an
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    entitled, manipulative young lady who has spend her entire life milking the "child of divorce" card in order to make her parents
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    feel bad for her and give her everything she wanted. As a result, she is now a lazy adult, has poor grades in school, no
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    perspective, no job, no desire to get a job or do something with her life. Although my husband and her bio mom are both
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    responsible for how she turned out, instead of coming together and work towards helping her do something, they prefer to
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    blame each other and they do everything they can to undermine the other one. For example, if my husband punishes Sally by not giving her
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    spending money, her mom will immediately throw money at her. If her mom takes her car away as a punishment, my husband will immediately
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    give her his car to use to go places. It's a very strange dynamic they have and very different of what he has with me. When I asked him why he
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    is so different in terms of parenting my son with me vs Sally with her bio mom, he said I am his wife and I am a normal, sane woman
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    who he can actually communicate with. Whatever, I feel like they are both wrong but Sally is not my daughter and I am happy I don't have to spend too much time with her.
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    Now that the summer break started Sally has the most important problem in the world: her car broke and she needs one to use this summer to go places,
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    meet her friends, go to parties etc. Her mom is not willing to give her car because she needs it to go to work, my husband
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    needs his car to go to work and neither of them is willing to buy her a new one. So Sally the genius found the perfect solution and asked me to give her
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    Cheezburger Image 10521672704
    via yan kolesnyk

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    one of my cars. To be clear I have 2 cars: a big SUV that was given to me by my employer and a smaller one that I use when I go into town
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    because it's easier to park. I refused and I told her she can't use any of my car. She insisted and said I don't need two cars at the same time but she needs
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    one to get around. I told her she is free to use the public transportation or get a job and buy one herself.
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    Now Sally is going around to my husband's relatives complaining that I am trying to exploit her and send her to work. I had a good laugh about this
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    with my husband's sister but my MIL claims I could have just refused instead of telling her to get a job. I am a little confused what
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    it's so bad about telling an adult to get a job. It's not like I sent a 12 years old to work for her food or anything.
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  • 22
    RevolutionaryDiet686 NTA Hide your keys!
    via RevolutionaryDiet686
  • 23
    jpb NTA. Tell her in front of your husband "If one of my cars goes missing, I'm not going to call you to beg you to bring it back, I'm calling the police and I will press charges."
    via jpb
  • 24
    reentername NTA. Nicely done. I guess your husband and his ex-wife hate each other more than they love their daughter because they're not doing her any favours by undermining one another.
    via reentername
  • 25
    Holiday_Horse3100 She learned early the fine art of playing one parent against the other and now expects to be a leech. Nothing wrong with pointing out the obvious fact of she needs to get a job. Don't give in-NTA
    via Holiday_Horse3100

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family drama aita kids mother car teenagers siblings stepmom reddit story parenting entitled family Reddit women parents children Father
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